Scars

Does it make me weak or strong? To love despite the hurt; Betrayal?
To be a steadfast island in your sea, when all you give me are tempestuous seasons?
Looking toward heaven, sending my dreams back to the sky
Soul littered, rows and rows of shallow graves
Tender spots, tear-stained words, loneliness and questioning the scars… are rooted deep
Fingertips softly trace the raised edges of the ones that can be seen
The reflection in my eyes is hard to swallow; Am I meant to be alone?
Just a shadow in a corner, just a hungry ghost?
I despise myself, now that you’ve shown me how…
I thought that I might become
Your true confession
The music in your heart and the warm, blue waters in your soul
The meaning of your words, even the ones that went unheard…
The wild abandon, passion unashamed –
The desire of the fire in your eyes, naked and untamed
My name the only one on your lips, breathy in my ear, curving against my neck…
You; Falling into my mysterious unknown with savage abandon
Cursing whatever gods had kept you from me, while you ripped time from the universe –
Demanding that our reincarnation be reincarnated…
I thought that I might become
Your medicine
Your ceremonial prayer, your spiritual communion
The keeper of your deepest secrets
Your last breath
But you spun me around until I forgot who I was
Walking backward in the mirror in my funeral dress; I became
Your greatest secret
Your concrete valentine
Your last choice
Your loathed prison
Our poem of sorrow, an ending without a beginning, still I;

I wandered along your cliffs
Pushed against your storm, headstrong and defiant
I explored your caves
Dug up your secrets, with softened eyes
I rubbed your anxious brow with feathered fingers
Heartbeat placed beneath your hand
I held on when no one lingered
A constant star in your starless sky

I want to be your chaos, my hair your silky blindfold, my body your garden where you wander, my eyes your only storm
My skin where your mouth lingers, my mind your favorite playground, my soul your spirit pony, My heart your only home
The nightmare in your dream just to keep things interesting
The red streaks on your back, after you let me taste what death is like
When you said my name; I thought you called me Heaven
I thought you called me Beautiful
I thought you called me… Mine
You build the fire, then lead me to it, hold me by my hair, until my skin crackles, hisses, runs down my bones
I am your boredom, your ambivalence; You wanted all my suffering to outdo your own
You want to see my pain, it lulls your wailing demons
The moon told you to wait; Take care, there lives no love in bitter fumes
Walking the veil between two worlds is a mad mans foolish choice
The ones that play with fire are the ones that are consumed…
Ghost eyes, you cut the mirrors from your face
But shadow always follows soul
Naked anger licking flames, seething, writhing, pent up wrath
The skies on fire like the ground below
Your indifference is indicative of a mangled spirit –
Best to tend to your overgrown soul
Pull out those piled up weeds from your polluted soil
Those noxious thorns when the sun lays low
Those weeping wounds by the roots; Toil
Claw and dig with shovel or hoe
Before your humanity becomes inhuman
Cornflower ghost dance on a waiting grave –
Reluctant fallow shadows beckon
Faithless deeds for you to reckon
Wrecked pupils dismember my weary heart
And there’s no more left of you to save