He flew down in raven form
Dark silky hair and deep eyes, talons set to clutch something soft
Perched on the highest limb, narrowed focus on my open heart
I painted my pain on his chest after the first betrayal, and asked him –
Is love worth protecting?
I bathed him in my tears, after the second betrayal, and asked him –
What is there without truth?
He hoarded infidelities, like they were candied jewels to build his nest
Chattering lies while declaring love
I wrote my sorrow in the sky
Words that sucked up the warmth of the night, spit out winters breath –
Infested my heart with devastation that crept into an icy catacomb of hopelessness
His razor beak shattering it into crystal splinters that spilled onto the concrete steps
Each shard a lyrical chime of loss
I asked him to look at the sunlight on the wall and tell me –
Why aren’t your actions shadows of your words?
But his response was to fly into the sky and puncture the stars until darkness swallowed my voice
I will always be his haunting; his ghost wrapped around me beneath my skin
He will keep me a mystery –
Put me in a dusty corner of his mind, where the breeze never stirs, behind the 13th door
He’ll scratch at the soft earth, bury my name and fly on
He wanted my love and devotion
While he gave his to the magpie, her deceitful nest full of sorrow and bones, life leeched from lovers by her acid soul
He wanted to wring from me every drop of life –
Then leave me in the field like a brittle scarecrow…
Vacant eyes, empty heart, wordless voice…
Waiting for someone to come along and cut open my mouth
So I could scream my piercing pain
Let it bounce off of the crumbling mountains
Let the wind carry it until it found him and tucked itself beneath his wings
Ferrying him until the day his barren, corpse heart strummed its last beat
And he lay on the mountain, decaying into the soft earth
Feathers, bones and flesh congealing into a silent, calm nothingness
No longer a torrent or a torment stealing my comfort –
Chaining my mind to crucifying nightmares that induced lacy vomited wretchedness –
Growing sorrow that withered newborn seeds of love
I thought that he might love me and eventually lie beside me in deaths peacefulness
Such beauty that drew my heart but such ugliness that broke my spirit…
Why he slowly strangled our chance at a life together is anyone’s guess –
I doubt that even he knows
And so my pain, tears and sorrow mark our grave, and I ask him –
Did you ever love me?
And we both know that although he says “Yes, I’ve always loved you – I love you now,”
Too much damage has been done and it’s too late to believe
Even though he might have finally realized that love is worth protecting
And he is finally, actually telling the truth
The canyons sing our sad love song
Weeping tears tortured in 13 ways
13 Eternal scars upon my abandoned heart
To remember him by