Something a bit different III

Substantive Snowy Sentiment

Loves Ballet (2002)

At Prides insistence
I whispered –
In the distance
You’ll find yourself returning
And bit my lip until it bled to halt tears that were burning
Gauzy love was blowing in the air
While children ran round a fish-shaped fountain
And up red mossy stairs…
And through my skirt the coldness of the wall
Was nothing like the sorrow of the flight of love, now stalled
As if they sensed this tete-a-tete was of regret
The leaves blew from the trees
Floating down and swirling round it seemed in ecstasy
And I
I longed to touch your face
My soul
Reeled from neglect and begged for one more taste
But while your eyes were lit lamps of concern
The flames I used to see for me were now a fire that barely burned
And at guilts insistence
You said, in the distance
You might find the fog was clearing…
But that you’d spurned Cupids pomp –
Yet it seemed your eyes were tearing…
And the heaviness within my heart lurched against my chest
But I remembered vividly you said you thought it best
And I could try a harlots tricks, but stubborn as you were
Painted lips and flirty eyes to you’d just be obscure…
I turned my face against an ill cold wind
I stood and one last look at you about did me in
But love is not, my love, always lovely
And sometimes the truth does truly set you free
It might take time but I knew I’d find some tranquility
And why should I beg anyone to stay who wished to leave?
So then, a smile and one last look
In deep, dark liquid eyes
Funny how we used to share our bodies every night…
And now it seemed the frozen ground held an imaginary line –
I dared not pass or even smudge
As I said goodbye…
The children were still playing round the fountain as I walked away
They snatched a plump orange goldfish but it made a grand escape
I turned around and you were gone, and I wondered if you felt the same –
Or if, like me, you were sad to see
The death of loves ballet

More Blood than Violence

Diffused Dimension Defined

This bitter moment burns
A harsh rising bile, a vicious internal clawing…
To taste love; The sweetest saturation
Carving blue down my heart as it reveals itself to be a ghost
Mourning carried on the brittle air
Through bereft valleys of forgotten bones
A haunting reverie crushing time with its spindly fingers
Searing flesh with its spitting love, sheared of its legitimacy –
Tossed into a fire bath –
Charred into dust
To scatter across miles, spinning into a deluge of cement tears
That eventually rust on the tongues of the damned
In their moment of reckoning –
When their toothless, barbed-wire, open moth-filled mouths
Shriek foul throaty epitaphs, coffin memoirs ripe with bitter juices
Eyes sewn shut in exile, sulking serpent witch pouts
And you will remember; I will as well
But we are prophets of poverty; There will be no further stories
Of those miles in the rear view, 2am contemplations
Wide eyes, love letters, coffee kisses, tattoos
Bed sheets tangled, along with long hair
Darkness entwined with snow everywhere
Madness and cages, cigarettes and rages
Sorrow and shadow spilling onto written pages
While the crisp winter air burned our lungs and our hopes
Until we came unbound in a room full of ropes
Until all that we had were glances and silence –
Slicing through our hearts leaving more blood than violence
To spill from that wine glass you carefully sipped
While my mind was reminded of the taste of your lips
And how they used to travel all over my skin
And melt all my efforts at distance again
So that clothes fell away as you stayed your course
And again reminded me that I was yours
Since long before times brittle shattered illusions
Before poetic rhyme etched on firefly wings
Before there was conscious and unconscious flame
Before there was anything; You spoke my name –
Through threaded seasons of lilac-webbed epochs
You came for me, to protect what was yours
Your wild lions mane and nocturnal warrior eyes –
Potent medicine in the glow of the goassamer mist
Thick and sweet, like dark cherry wine
Your lips an irresistible chloroform kiss
Ah, but somehow we wavered and ice and the cold
Came out of the shadows this winter… took hold
To creep and dismantle, then splinter and burn
As we crashed into each other to damage and churn
In delusions of passion, we stabbed with dull knives –
Tried to glue all our wounds but just bled in reverse
While the wine grew moldy and acrid like stained smoke –
Filling our mouths with ripples of the perverse
Breeding slime beneath our skin that was horrid
We reached for each other but the drowning was torrid
To ravage our hearts… To tarnish our souls…
Once the writhing was done we had nowhere to go
And so this bitter moment
Loves eyeless ghost
A mordicant, corrosive valentine picking at loves withered bones
Blood red white wine to choke down as it turns to ashes
In our room where the bedposts are tied with worn sashes
To eventually rust, to eventually fade –
To eventually, poetically disintegrate
Until not the smallest trace, even if sublime
Is left of two people who loved before time
Just a diseased cemetery dripping with sour
Where angels sutured to demons are being devoured
And fanciful inscriptions written in blood –
There’s no fate, no forever, no magical cure
No “I’m sorry,” or “Please stay,” as it ends in a blur

Just the sorrowful truth –

Love doesn’t always endure

Backward glances to try and hold time
Traces of love in torn poetic pages
Coffee-stained teardrops romancing our words
What’s done is done, tender scars remain ageless
Anguish and regret spilled out in silence
Slicing through our hearts leaving more blood than violence
Wounds bled in the deception of silence
Slicing through our hearts leaving
More. Blood. Than. Violence.
Love lost in the depths of silence…
Slicing through our hearts
Leaving

More blood than violence

Atomic Number 13

September Solitude Seeking Sutured Seasons

You disturbed my dreams –
Leapt from their shadows like a feral, flaming beast, to become my beloved, wicked nightmare
Howling into the depths of my mind with your morbid, raging, brutal heart –
Your angelic face, turned West, with those obsidian eyes of savage destruction
You bound me to your violence, with that long, flowing hair –
Tethers I looked upon lovingly, that caressed my wrists, while the scissors lay rusting on the bedside table
You murmured poetic words of love
While scanning the horizon for honeyed, absinthe-coated, perfumed petals…
A trail leading you to your past mistakes and misfortunes –
Hollow, brittle, marrow-leeched bones in a sulphur field; What remained of an obscene Loves carcass
But, slithering among the tumbleweeds during the dust storms
A narcissistic shadow
Crouched, moping and pining beneath a monogrammed moon, in the atomic number 13 dead zone
Its foul breath blowing kisses laced with the past toward you, with the teasing lips of a whore
A relentless deluge of candied-graffiti declarations
Trailing poppy filaments to lull you into blissful illusions
Punch through the debris and collateral carnage left in your mind –
Incinerate our fragments before the moon gathered them, sewed them into one with silver thread
Baptized us in her ethereal, filigreed glaze…
And despite your sterilized love meted to me
With wilting forget-me-nots, smooth sheets and clandestine malengine –
Despite smelling that foul stench coming off of the West winds
Tasting its tang on your once clover-sweet skin…
I cannot consume enough of you to catch my breath, to drown this raging wildfire
I am a walking pathology, churning with worms and needles, rust and acid, hopelessness and melancholy
Her shadow swallowing mine –
I am visible in theory, invisible in reality
Deceit rests its hand upon my breast, clawing at my heart –
While she smugly smiles toward the moon where your devious eyes are cast
As your lips spew oddities into my ears –
Cracked porcelain Valentines spilling secrets –
Stained seconds…
I am your for-the-moment
I am my own-best-enemy
I’m working on my illness, but you feed my gnawing addictions –
Have become my precious affliction
Stumbling around in the dark on broken shards of love –
Poppied lies, barefoot fractures, slices and punctures
Your oxidized mathematical emotions –
Bound cold steel, broken, bent and burning
This relentless obscenity calibrated, wired into my veins
As Love…
Searing my soul, chloroform strangulation –
This trial by ordeal of which no lucid lover would want to be bound…
I hope that you leave my dreams before I choke on the pain in my mind
Drowning in the sour…
I get no mercy of death, only the suffering of dying
Wicked spell…
I might just trade Heaven for Hell