Theater of Sorrows

Poet

I’ve been pacing in my shadow
I’ve been killing all my poems
Walking the words backward
In this valley of the bones
There’s no subtle way of leaving
Spongy walls of blue despair
Carve the feeling of your distance
Deep into this static air
I’ve been sensing my own murder
Since my grief is running mad
And it’s ripping up my memories
Like they’re just a current fad
How to shake all of this dust off
Is, in truth, anybodies guess
I’m all alone despite my own company –
In this existential mess
Tried to extricate my lack of meaning
Although I loathe this absurd need
To form words into some semblance of beauty
Some sense of fleeting dreams…
A kaleidoscope in motion
Yet my souls a wordless ocean
Time is sinking quickly into
Hopeless sands of my corrosion
I’ve been acting like a cliché
Stuck and drunk in my debris
Wallowing in rootlessness
Since my words have deserted me
An empty, undone poet
Spewing misery that turns this dim air blue
I’ve no more words, and thus no voice, no soul
Just this cup of bitter brew
Damn this vile inconvenience
That’s erupting in my chest
Until my mouth is spewing
Consonants of emptiness
All you specters, all you demons
Now you’re hiding under veils
You’re such narcissistic dwellers
When the pains not up to scale
Where’s my sweet, sad, sullen song?
Where’s my moody blue impression?
Even though my fingertips are bleeding –
I’ve no poetical confession!

At my desk, leather scent of tomes heavy in the air
Beyond the window; I’ve searched the sky for weighty words
Dreamt that I could countless times move souls
To the extent that they might rejoice or weep, or deeply yearn…
But I lament I’ve failed to paint the endless sky
With bridges leading to my beloved shades of greys and blues
Oh, just to hold a pen that once again leaks inky words of lonely, morbid woe
There is nothing that I wouldn’t do

Molecules

Love and madness
Risqué interlude wafting like plumeria perfume
Inhaled deep, like a rogue cigarette steeped in mace and cinnamon
Honeyed arsenic swirling through long-stemmed veins
Poison sweet like cherry brandy on drunk-plumped lips…
Beneath the last cadaver moon
This kiss of dread consumes the universe –
As beloved darkness inhales the stars and spits out woe
Funnel clouds writhe and wring out musky sighs
Molecules hissing and imploding like popcorn stars…
The savage assemblage of raw desire; Passions crashing birth, as barren eyes collide –
Twist and tangle with each others naked shadows
Vexing the gods
Enchanting the night creatures
Rapturous delight in almond-green, feline eyes
Slinky, prowling, familiar mystery
Claws that carve ornate galaxies down your spine –
Purring pretty obscenities…
Slurring wanton tendencies…
Licking love mark confessions –
Decadent rogue tattoos…
Fingers wrapped in silky hair; Pulling
Like untying a crimson ribbon on a pretty package
Worship beneath the tall fir ones, their thready arms reaching
To set the candlelight stars to flame
Mountain medicine and mysticism in your arms
Fire warriors dancing in your eyes
Muerte dulce beneath a star flower sky…
Poppy red fields with dandelion eyes, as midnight sun evicts twilight plumes –
Dragging our dark into the light, from its velvet tomb
Our bones stand on the fringe; Constricted shadows of poet ghosts on the horizon

Warriors
Dead words; Ink and mind ran dry
Perhaps your merlot kiss will tease words from me
That make demons melt and angels sigh

I need barbed wire, knife, and careless deed
Pelting rain and grey brush strokes across the sky
Bring me your cruel and bitter scars
And those distorted acid eyes –
Come scrape and mark me with your bite
Bring me your demons drenched in tar
Lets take our time with pain tonight
Ah yes my darling, there you are…
Until the next cadaver moon –
Where crowberry, briar and potion bloom
Where throaty moans and slippery skin devour shame in favor of
What dark remains
And sweetly stains, my love

Collateral

Were on a collision, Love
There’s been a division, Love
I don’t understand how to be with you again
This pain is clawing my insides, slicing, cutting deep and through
Platinum shooting stars burning –
… Bursting…
If I could I’d isolate, I’d mutilate, I’d devastate the part of the mind that creates hope
Because hope is a torturous, vile, disingenuous villain
I punish myself enough, hurt myself, deny, ignore, shame, murder myself…
I don’t need the added grotesqueness of hope, with its twisted illusions, painting itself as some grand guardian –
Keeper of the light, savior of the tormented lost –
Whose thorny burdens crucify their heavy, aching arms
Pricking and piercing wincing skin
Collateral beauty
What do you think that means?
This highway of desolation running through my soul…
Fuck your insulting soliloquies about how it will make me stronger!
Who the hell are you to think that I am weak?
Have you ever seen the demons in my mind?
Have you ever tasted my trials? My tragedies? My spirals? My casualties?
I hate this journey; It’s furious. I’m furious!
The rage so deep, so big that it engulfs the sky and evaporates the stars into shadows
My fingernails carve my pain into the dead air in the Eastern corner
Splintered molecules stab the crows, send them screeching into an annoyed retreat –
Hissing my name back and forth, anointing me as hostile foe; Desolator to be damned The jokes on them
Among their murders I am counted, cursed with no hesitation to ghost this wilderness of distress
To live in this barren sanctuary; Peephole sideshow sold out to sordid eyes
What do you think I am? A heartbreaker or the brokenhearted?
When, on this warriors path, does it prowl mystical, fermented valleys?
Those lush, jeweled landscapes, with their candy-dripping waterfalls that feed deflated dreams –
Passion-fruit oxygen billowing their sails until they float upward; Sky surf on the Moon tide…
I need an inquisition, an admission that this ruby brick road doesn’t lead to love –
I need to put on my funeral dress
Expel the dead from beneath my skin
No angels, no demons in this valley of emptiness
Just Memento Mori among the snowdrops that the Moon picks for me
My apology, but a Loves-clichés-aren’t-waterproof lunacy transfusion is a must
To catch my breath from all of this domino herd think
They’d rather cut out their tongues than to stop preaching defective beliefs –
Than to stop reading love dissertations written by the blind…
Monsters and madness are addictive inflictions until you have to pay the dues
Warning flashing; Hazel contraindications –
Your eyes were repeat seasons I’d already been through
Written in ballads, epigrams and proems –
These barbaric fallacies will cook your bones
Set your shadow on fire, melt your absinthe-tripping eyes
I need the moon to sew my wounds with silver thread
Kiss my dreams alive from dead, just for tonight…
Lunar alchemy doesn’t need a bubbling refrain, but oh, if a tinseled incantation gurgling red
Could just silence all the voices screaming in my head