Poetry about Loss – Page 9 – Theater of Sorrows

Drenched

Please note; I’ve used a word in this poem that may be considered vulgar.

The screaming of this deafening silence saves me
Howls over these rabid thoughts of you –
Pour me an ocean to drown this frenzied pain
Feed me a winter storm so numb can deliquate sorrow…
Despair runs down the tainted walls of my mind –
A thousand doors there leading to you, now harboring tattered, dark memories
Asphyxiating my tranquility
Separating our sweetness and mashing it with sour
Long and tangled; like my hair through your fingers, shorn now for the sheer purpose of transcending
Falling silky strands piling on the floor to be tossed away, left behind, unlike your brand upon my skin –
Faithful impressions that I cannot peel away…
I tried burning but now there are sooty outlines and shadows
I tried cutting but now there are raised scars
I cover them with ink and clothing –
Stab at my eyes, refusing wistful glances
Break my bones, rip them from their cartilage… devastating pain to bring me as close to death as possible
To give my mind just one moments distance, one measure of solace from this sinister assailing
A thoughtful exorcism of our love
Not a nightmare, but a dream… to have a new torment to execute the old

I wish that we had loved each other like we were going to lose each other

That we had known sultry warmth beneath the plump, pale moon
Let creamy, luminous rays saturate our naked bodies on the salty summer grass
While we drank our passion with lemon twists and candied cherries
Entwined, enraptured, smitten with whispers, kisses and slippery, sliding skin
But the universe likes to fuck with me
Snippets of love among thorns, muck, desolation and disease
Eating away at my stapled, 10,000 stitches soul –
Anguish pouring from its assaults, a tincture of sorrow, wafting purple-crimson fumes
There is no reprieve, so I dig my own grave
Blistered fingers, broken nails, exhaustion a welcome diversion
Next to the bent wire fence, where the shadows are long and constant, so no flowers flourish –
Dancing like they’re burning when the wind uncurls to lick the sun
The thistles high and plenty; I like the way they bleed syrupy white blood – an agony oozing slowly
Bleaching the ground, enticing rivers that snake their way toward the dead zone
Where I lay my living corpse
You would be pleased that I’m drenched in detailed paintings… every nuance of you
Buried beneath my skin, dormant there
My body a shrine, a parade of monstrosity that needs a pyre
Let me cover my eyes with stardust so the crows will peck them dry
Steal my visions to line their nests, along with their rusty tokens of disbelief and disillusionment
You are the end of my beginning

I wish that we had loved each other like we were going to lose each other

You were my ultimate betrayal
A mirror reflecting myself back to me as I was reflecting yourself back to you, beautiful words and images of divinity
But then the demons burned heaven and the world exploded –
Shattering all the glass

Gears

Riptides, pulling us apart
I reach for him, drowning in this fallow sea
But the bliss has fallen away in this frozen season –
Sorrow so barren that its killed its tears
Still, the clouds cry to the moon
But she hurts too much to care
Disintegrating into a chilly, forlorn sliver
Abandoning our sacred coupling
Her twilight divinity a madness that dizzies the crows eyes
They pick apart our pieces, feathering their nests with our jewels
Leaving our naked wounds open to the elements
Clockwork rolling backwards
Tock tick… tock tick…
Gears grinding against the rust that’s held us together
Metal merging with mist through the cracked glass
The earth rolls left and loves thick liquid pours between tilted dials
Splashes upon the rocks like rubies that won’t feed the impoverished
In crowded spaces of empty rooms words evict meaning
Red pain screams itself into black
Half dead in its aliveness
Writhing anguish, watered into blooming by graveside tears
I see my garish death in your angel face of loathing
We scream our frustration, searching for words to silence words
In this violent incident you drag resignation behind your dented shadow
Storm out into the dead light
Cigarette anger glow beneath shriveled stars –
Their luminosity surgically excised by our serrated tongues
A blunt violation lacking a sterile room
The air is falling – our inebriated shadows cascading starved love…
Swaying down the flawed halls of methodology of the condemned
While the bells exhale silence
The moon blows a kiss goodbye
Then descends through the rutted sky after remorse
That last icicle of light melting into dark fallout
I wish this waste would gag my eyes with dementia –
The lunacy of a happy fool…
Sprout musty mushroom scales inside my heart
Tangle my nerve endings with an arctic ocean
Weave cryptic manifestations into my mind to confuse its agony
So it curls into itself like a sea anemone –
Shut down and armored; Floating on the blue grey brink
But evidence gulps tranquil bliss like a predatory black hole
The gears grind against the rust that’s held us together
A metal sandstorm in the hourglass

Small Atrocities

Waiting under a midnight sapphire sky
Chandeliers of white lilies and lotus –
A petalled, frilly, perfumed canopy
My dreams tangled with sorrow, best buried among the weeds now
Love lying in the graveyard where the crows pick at its bones
Jewels long gone; Tossed into stolen piles of hoarded trinkets
To rust like metal in an angry, vicious sea
This twisted disaster –
Ghosts dancing to a funeral dirge before death bothered to extract its execution
No ritual, no exorcism would have turned grey into color
Weeping words slithered down sun-starved cheeks, while the moon chanced painful glances –
Wondering how to unravel severed veins from pumping, empty hearts
How to find remorse in a vacant vessel
There will be no contented sighs for this discontented fiction –
And tears are better served to authentic paupers, fools and dreamers
Than to this charming, beguiling illusion that deceives the damned
Swarms through blood like bees from their bludgeoned hive
But this trial by fire melts… cauterizes traitorous skin from solid bones –
A cocooned awakening…
Sears the patina from tarnished pupils until fallacy cracks into withered, new-born moons
That coax poetic dancing on the riverbank
Primal, unabashed gyrations that shake specters from a damaged soul
Sensuous flailing… Delicate feet and slender legs, gracious thighs whispering to private gardens
Soft belly, wispy arms, willowy fingers, pillowy breasts, plump mouth, flowing hair –
Moon-kissed skies… lips pressed against hopeful eyes…
A new season of voluptuous photographs
A new breeze through the open window
Upon which burnt words disperse, then crumble into dust that coats the tumbleweeds in this arid desert
Rolling away from this sacred border onto the parched landscape of forgotten dreams
Where the sun will bake their spiky bristles into brittle nests
That the magpies snap and gather, to carry off into the trees of yesterdays archives
What remnants remain of another lifetime, wrapped in iridescent stars –
Tossed into the sky for the sun to keep…
Waiting under a midnight summer sky
Chandeliers of purple-sweet lilacs
Their breath blooming dreams in the garden and on my lips
Tears ground up in the drain until the switch broke
Sutures dissolving in a thousand quiet, unblessed wounds
The moon whispers mystery into my ear, brings new words for my calloused fingers to leak
Time is turning over on itself
The ache is now a constant, dull shadow, a spirit storm tolerable but deserving of a funeral
The shovel is where he left it
I have avoided those small atrocities that he left behind –
There are no angels concerned with loves small atrocities
But summer is fleeting and Fall must not be abandoned to heartless acts
So beneath falling silvery stars that burn deep ravines in the lavender stained sky
I am an eclipse, a shadowed summer, filtered through a ripe, late sun lens
My inky pupils my brooding pen, burning skeleton images onto crisp linen, coffee-stained pages
Writing lyrical requiems until the last dead give up their ghosts
And the moon births my eyes