California Rearview

It was an aberration
Madness
Some kind of psychic machination, vile cogs and gears smashing against each other
Sucking the spine from “the impossible” until it fell upon itself, limp and docile
Thrusting the universe off a precipice, into a descent of shrieking lunacy, yet
There was no rabbit here, deftly maneuvering dead-end exits, or shrill queens swinging toothy axes
There was no bloated caterpillar, or fatted centipede, or even a lowly worm, offering an absinthe sedative –
Or the sweet earthiness of bud, or even an unremarkable menthol, smoky fingers curling round you like a cocoon
It was an aberration, cloaked in warm, clover-scented skin
So many pathologies, too many to dissect, too many to neglect –
Deaths-head moth brooding in the corner of the windowsill, doomsayer plump with prophesies?
I confronted the pain, a red haze of threats in my mind, flashing a warning to cease and desist
Did you do something unspeakable?
Specters screeching, angels crying…
Did you creep beyond the pale of unkind?
Red neon blaring –
Red sun, the sky is burning, visions sliding down the hourglass, like blood, slow and syrupy
Nailed to a rusted, grub-infested post; I’m a scarecrow, twisting, turning –
Crows pecking at the delirium in my eyes
Digging at the guts that used to anchor my insides…
Smashed posies and poppies, ironed between wax pages
Bone and crimson tapestries weaved from brutal rages
Only a few have seen this, in the deepest depths kind of dark… They know the score
Hope is the cruelest thing that will ever knock upon your door
My first taste of you
Was like an ocean view
Broken-hearted by your beauty, taunted by your cruelty –
And when all was said and done; Almost ruined
It took too long to understand that your callous disregard for my feelings wasn’t a mistake
And that saving myself would end up becoming more that I could take
I can’t stand here anymore, while you scream your madness at me
That belladonna crown sprouting thorns of foul, fetid poison
I see your eyes, as emptiness roils across them; A lightening-tortured sky
You fed me bleach so casually – stole the color from my life
You were an aberration
Bled my breath, crushed my bones, burnt my shadow, maimed my soul
Murmuring of love while gathering flowers for my funeral –
Blaming me for my murder, with your hands around my throat…

Warm red earth as I get closer to California; The energy changes and the bones roll away
But I’ll be damned – I’m right back there… to my first taste of you, bathed in poetic shades of blues and greys
I need to hold on to the bitter to keep you in the distance, I don’t need more regret from the burn of hindsight
Red Apple motel, cigarette burns in the mattress, shitty part of town, but I think I’ll get some sleep tonight
And I even think that some day I’ll stop looking over my shoulder
And these ghosts won’t stay much longer if I put up a decent fight…
So much damage, you used to say I was damaged, but when all is said and done, we both know the truth
All of the devastation… it’s going to wind up in the rearview, the miles dropping away until they become skewed
I’ll eventually put it away, turn out the light
And finally be rid of you