How many times could I have looked into your eyes Leaving that way was so unfair, no compromise We both thought it’d be okay That you’d come back to… stay And now here, your voice has become unclear My heart aching, full of the darkest fear – Some day will pass by Where you won’t cross my mind What good now? How do you show love to a ghost? How do you vow That they’re the one you loved the most? Crumpled leaves on wet grass Trampled from the warriors of your past Like the waves within a squall – Their tears crash and… fall And it’s you who was the hero To this little girl It’s you who was the safest place In my vicious world That pedestal that you stood upon Is full of dust now that you’re gone My faith flew, just like you And now, oh, what I wouldn’t do… Now my devotion lies in flowers on your grave Tears, my confession of my love for everything you gave We thought the spring would be our time – We didn’t know that winter meant… goodbye It’s you that was the hero To this little girl Trying to navigate Without you in my world This city will always be you Emerald city green turned blue Looking to the sky…
We thought the Spring would be our time I’ll bring you lilacs like your backyard had Pile them high so their sweet perfume Lingers like my love for you
Worms; Trails in the key of blue, gnawing the light into mulch Where I stumbled and fell – Cerulean skies churning and rumbling, a vertigo undertow rushing, dragging This dissonance, malengine shadings in my bones Indicating misplaced instruments and lost rhapsodizing Perpendicular and horizontal planes, out of rhythm and unaligned – Reliving the tilted dreams in your head that you can’t remember Film on paper, of intersections with sinistral rotations – Puncturing symmetrical contours of my living religion This caffeinated cathedral arcs over city; Metal and rust, concrete and dust, chatter and hush… Times dreams ride the ferris wheel; You can hear their voices expiring out in the choppy sound
So I caught the crosscurrent East of Seattle Clinical exfoliation punching away the grey Moldy brick road drying out in the dessert, toad lily, lilacs and sagebrush kiss my cheeks – Dance beneath a scorching sun lathering tulle, confetti clouds Long hair swinging round beneath fresh cactus and I hear a sound And realize that I’m laughing… Mint fields caressing strawberry hills bordered by dogwoods; Solstice velvet pink snow-petals twirling down And moist, hot summer nights, windowsill by candlelight – Words resonating through invisible portals, sliding down space and time, caressing us Eventually calling you mine
Adobe moon-shadow dancing on fire mountain, captivating eyes Beaded prayer sticks swaying to the winds breathy sighs Billowing smoke fingers feather braided onyx hair Starshine illuminates tribal totems colliding with ravens, on citrus skin River rocks, crowstone and moonstone beckon tonight Sage songs on the warriors path of complications and deviations Where he lingered, stumbled and fell – Tripping the light fantastic into absinthe and mushroom devastations To bury his raging at every vile incision – Her lunatic tactics and tin man narcissism
You’re running wild in my yesterday Recollections gleaning betrayal-anger that you couldn’t put down Pain spitting glowing crimson coals That I walked across barefoot and naïve Because even your ancient scars were beautiful – Although some bridges are simply better burned So we grabbed a can of gasoline and one last time returned…
Incisions mend yet surface scars still chant like ghosts in trees at times, dressed in blue Dandelion ligatures creep on the ground; Fill our heads with fossilized accelerants – But it’s summer, get the hose and spray those spoiled bones out of the driveway Into the sand to devour what once tasted like clover but then turned sour Our faces turned to the desert breeze, gazing over the wall into valley dunes Your graffiti-painted eyes, all of that spider web pain breathed into helium balloons Parched and bleached goathead soil, tumbleweed rolling down the road Has finally become, through trial of blood, bone and bile Home
She mentioned he was flawed but I saw it in her eyes That hunger which replaced her common sense at times Didn’t matter he was wanting, so long as he was wanting her Just call her Miss Dysfunctional and paint her past a blur I tried a bit of reasoning – Said remember James and Tim? And Louie, Bill and Keith, and how each one left you grim? She agreed, that certainly, they all had been huge disasters… But you can’t remove your heart and fill that empty hole with plaster I told her lessons learned would save a lot of time and grief And she, in her witty way Said Love is like a thief And this boy has found his mark and wrung me out and wrung me through And love is just too powerful, and there’s nothing I can do… I shook my head After all these years I knew dread – That I’d be mopping up her tears This circus full of giddy fools Their big clown-head smiles full of drool… Oh my friend, come conquer this Can’t you see I’d be remiss To let you drive your tiny car from clown to clown in every bar? Their empty eyes and cotton candy flowers Should warn you that their love will rot your empty heart in a few hours Those slick white gloves that hide their claws… Which amaze you with tricks, to which you ooh and ahhh… This ain’t no elementary school fire drill, and you, my girl, have had your fill No more clowns in your tiny car – Leave them lounging at the bar Their confetti drinks and big black shoes – Next to the beds of other fools… She thought a bit and then she smiled Said – The right guys never been my style This big tops got to have one dressing room with a star I sighed, wondering… How many clowns can you fit in a small car?
Theater of Sorrows 