Dedicated to Saynotoclowns
Small Car (2002)
She mentioned he was flawed but I saw it in her eyes
That hunger which replaced her common sense at times
Didn’t matter he was wanting, so long as he was wanting her
Just call her Miss Dysfunctional and paint her past a blur
I tried a bit of reasoning –
Said remember James and Tim?
And Louie, Bill and Keith, and how each one left you grim?
She agreed, that certainly, they all had been huge disasters…
But you can’t remove your heart and fill that empty hole with plaster
I told her lessons learned would save a lot of time and grief
And she, in her witty way
Said Love is like a thief
And this boy has found his mark and wrung me out and wrung me through
And love is just too powerful, and there’s nothing I can do…
I shook my head
After all these years
I knew dread –
That I’d be mopping up her tears
This circus full of giddy fools
Their big clown-head smiles full of drool…
Oh my friend, come conquer this
Can’t you see I’d be remiss
To let you drive your tiny car from clown to clown in every bar?
Their empty eyes and cotton candy flowers
Should warn you that their love will rot your empty heart in a few hours
Those slick white gloves that hide their claws…
Which amaze you with tricks, to which you ooh and ahhh…
This ain’t no elementary school fire drill, and you, my girl, have had your fill
No more clowns in your tiny car –
Leave them lounging at the bar
Their confetti drinks and big black shoes –
Next to the beds of other fools…
She thought a bit and then she smiled
Said –
The right guys never been my style
This big tops got to have one dressing room with a star
I sighed, wondering…
How many clowns can you fit in a small car?
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Theater of Sorrows 
Wow. Well this is something different! And a surprise!! I am not on WP every day and just happened to click on your email link to check out your amazing wordsmithing…am honoured to see the dedication!…really made me smile (Is this something you actually wrote in 2002, or that is part of the story?)
I love the poem, clever/funny/poignant…ugh, this does bring back memories of conversations in the past with a friend who didn’t understand her worth…that’s a big story for so many, right?
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Haha. Yes, I wrote it in 2002, and it popped into my head one night, followed by you, so I looked for it. I haven’t read it in about 15 years. I wasn’t exactly sure about your relationship with clowns, but it just seemed so serendipity to have written that years ago, and then find you on here so… Yes, that is a big story, and said friend continued on that path for many years. She was quite a beauty, interesting, talented, creative… and we tore up the town and eventually each of us left in blazing fashion, without looking back. Ah, but those glorious memories… Glad you liked the dedication. It was also my way of showing my appreciation for the words, and energy that you put out into the world 🙂
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ha er hmmm my relationship with clowns…well as I have discovered, many feel as I do…not being particularly fond of circus clowns for starters… shudder.
But when I started my blog…I was contemplating the clown in myself and that there were some things i needed to take more seriously. Then I saw this funny meme on FB, something like, “There’s a reason for everything. Except clowns. What the?” Or something like that. lol.
So it was a bit of a tongue in cheek name as a kind of homage to the complexity of human nature and the way we deal with things, but also, why circus clowns?????? LOL.
I did have more of this kind of explanation on my original About page, but it was a lot of blah blah and I changed it a few times…
I did do a response a while ago to a writing prompt on the Do Gog Cafe site for a ten word autobiography, so maybe I should just have that on there:
Oscillating
between the embrace
and rebuke
of my inner clown. 😀
But at the end of the day, I don’t take myself too seriously, nor a lot of other things, and I am navigating all of the balance with that.
Sounds like you have a lot of interesting/complex/wonderful memories…it’s funny isn’t it, when we stumble on old writing, and how it snaps into focus how quickly time passes as well!
And I’m truly humbled by your words of appreciation, thank you so much!
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Haha, funny. I like your ten word bio too. Well, I’ve no more poems about clowns, so hopefully no more of my words will make you think of clowns, especially circus clowns, and make you “shudder.” 😛
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Rest assured, your poem did not make me shudder! haha. Far from it, it’s wonderful.
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😄
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